just uploaded a new song. the title - sentimental. it's an instrumental piece from kenny G. it's not motivating, not soothing, not emphatic. but just plain simply sentimental. i love this song so much. it just proves one thing i thought about myself. i'm someone full of emotions. especially sentiments.

Got this thingy from blogthings.. Enjoy!



How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time.

You give and take equally in relationships.

You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.

You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.

You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

Get your free "How Are You In Love?" profile at Blogthings.

Sunday. the 1st Sunday after my exams was spent largely at expo and changi airport. if you know me well enough i rarely travel to such places of interest especially when they are in the eastern part of the country. the Sitex exhibition was the main reason why i was there. cool gadgets. big boyz toys they call it. haha. somehow majority of those sales pple who served me from most booths were girls. not that i picked on them but they just happen to be free. and they know their stuff. was sourcing for digital camera, micro hi-fi, nano silicon OAD, screen protector, plasma TV and engrossing myself in the latest technologies. it was the last day of the exhibition. pple were slashing prices and bundling freebies as usual. was nearly persuaded to purchase a Samsung digital camera with lotsa freebies thrown in. but i just managed to hold my wallet. that salesman must be pissed after trying too hard. the prices of digital cameras are quite steep. i'm sure i can get better deals. maybe on Ebay or somewhere.

my friend and i left the expo sitex exhibition and headed for changi airport. i seriously haven't been there for ages. it's changed alot. the galleries are not that spectacular anymore. although the one at T1 is still cool, the one at T2 where u can watch planes take off cannot make it. i wonder what i was doing there. can't even watch the planes take off. boring. added on to my misery when i reached home after finish watching EPL newcastle lost without owen again. he better come back soon. life without him is tough.

Got this horoscope thingy from blogthings.. Enjoy!



Cancer - Your Love Profile

Your positive traits:

You're intuitive enough to know what's going wrong in a relationship early on.

A total sweetheart - you're often the most caring person anyone knows.

You are a generous and devoted parter to whoever you fall in love with.

Your negative traits:

Insecurity - you tend to need a huge amount of comforting from your partner.

You tend to be overly sensitive and easily hurt, which make loving you difficult.

It's difficult to predict your moods. One minute you're up - the next you're down.

Your ideal partner:

Someone equally sensitive, who wants to take time to get to know you deeply.

Dreams of an everlasting love - complete with marriage and a family.

Loves to take care of you. Being a good cook and masseuse doesn't hurt!

Your dating style:

Slow. You enjoy dates that last all day, with plenty of time to talk and get to know one another.

Your seduction style:

Quite tender and loving, once you are comfortable in your relationship.

Coy. You tend to play it cool to drive your lover wild.

Orally talented - you're known as the best kisser in the zodiac.

Tips for the future:

Be a little less sensitive. Not every little mistake should hurt you.

Spend time away from your partner every so often - independence is a good thing.

Find ways to take care of yourself. You'll be happier if you put yourself first.

Best place to meet someone online:

eHarmony - you'll be able to take the time to get to know each potential match well

Best color to attract mate: Aqua

Best day for a date: Wednesday

Get your free love profile at Blogthings.

someone made my day significant today. that's why i'm blogging. there haven't been interesting happenings around for so long. well Jillian was online. chatted with her for quite a while. but that wasn't quite the reason.

151. i got on this SBS bus 151 at the stop opposite Ngee Ann Poly early morning. rush hour again. so no choice had to squeeze up the bus. this bus driver was a china-man. he sounded like he was from china. his slang was obvious when he tried to politely will people to move to the rear. the bus was obviously packed to the max already by the time it left the stop. at the next stop, there were people flagging for the bus. astonishingly the driver stopped the bus and opened the door even though no one pressed the bell to alight and for goodness sake there's no way to cram even one more skinny person up the bus. he waited for a while before deciding to close the front doors. this isn't a great deal. but. story's not over.

the bus was approaching the next stop. lo and behold. he stopped the bus again coz there were people flagging for it. this time someone tried squeezing up but to no avail. again the bus was delayed by another few minutes but it didn't pick up any extra passengers.

at the next stop. horrors of horrors. the bus stopped again. it's like never gonna not stop at any stops. doesn't this bus driver have any common sense? that's super duper time wasting. mind you it's a non air-con bus. everyone's sweaty and turned off by the speed of travelling. really WOLS. and this driver. he made an incredible record. out of 8 traffic lights from Ngee Ann Poly to NUS he kena all 8 red lights. haha. best. plate number 1893. i must buy 4D. no! should be TOTO coz it's Monday.

i couldn't believe. it's still not over. after lecture i was waiting for 151 from opposite YIH at about 3pm. had to give tuition at somewhere near KAP at 3.30pm. stroke of luck again. 1893. that china man driver. if i buy TOTO today i sure win man. i hope he's blessed with common sense soon in the near future.

hello! i'm finally blogging again. there might really be a blue moon tonight for all you know. haha. anyway. in May i've had no motivation to blog. come June when my best friend came back from US i was so busy keeping myself busy. all the way till July. which is now. tuition. squash coaching. swimming. singing. buffet. occasional mahjong. there's gotta be more to life man!

realised i had a hangover after exams in May. i couldn't get used to not going to school. i couldn't believe the stress of taking 6 modules was finally over. i couldn't find a proper job. everyday was just plain boring. painful to pass. until the day i saw Danitza. 23rd of May. Vesak Day. what a day 2 months ago. i'm not kidding but that day was kinda a turning point for me. from then on things that happened have been meaningful as well as wonderful. i realised i just had to keep doing meaningful things to keep myself busy so that i won't lament about wasting my precious time doing nothing. and i did it.

i learnt alot of things this hols. it's my first university summer break for 3 months. i kinda wasted the 1st month which is pathetic. losing money while playing mahjong. not working and eating v. little to save money. playing basketball and injuring myself. luckily the 2nd month and 3rd month was spent on more constructive stuff. tuition. squash coaching. those rendered some timely income. great to keep in touch with squash again though. supported Jillian through her tournaments. it was nice seeing her grow in maturity of her game. my best friend came back from US. that was another joyous thing. best company i can have. table-tennis. basketball. singing. swimming. buffet. watching soccer. sleeping over. best activity partners you can say. my life's been like going up up and up. haha. like a balloon filled with helium gas floating from the earth to space. i shall be happy even though school's starting soon. Joy to all pple!

it's been 10 days since i last blogged. how's my life? well. i'll likened it to newcastle's winning streak of 4 games in 10 days. enjoyable. that's the word. i can foresee the busy me in the next 2 months. tons of reports and research papers due. CAs. exams. squash competitions. all these are personal challenges. i'm recharged and rejuvenated. ready for the stressful days ahead. hope for the best. and prepare for the worst. i'm doing the latter now. NO FEAR! holidays will come. haha.

so turned out i had to skip an afternoon lecture. just for the sake of going to town with Qubee not for anything else but to visit the Asian Civilization Museum to churn out a report by Friday. on a plus note. the exhibits were rare and unique. basically an eye-opener. but history can be dull. especially when you try to speculate certain trends of convergence and divergence. there's no actual answer. you can only guess. what's the point of guessing without knowing the answer? ask the historians.

chanced upon a funny topic. Tian Cai you should read this.
i brought my sister for a haircut recently. there was no more QB House. the name changed to EC House. i was wondering how come they changed the name to EC House. and i found out "EC" meant "Express Cut". so i'm fine with that. then what did QB stand for previously? and does it mean QB doesn't own it anymore? i was on the bus asking Qubee and he said. the initials are still the same person. and i was laughing away.

finally blogging again. this is really an accomplishment. haha. to find time to blog. today was an exceptionally good day. was so punctual for lab practical. and today's practical was so fun. everyone was having fun anyway.

after lab. had lunch with my lab partner. one of my friend described her as gentle and feminine. haha. hinting me to chase her ahh. well i've got someone else in mind now. so i won't two-time. just following my principle. but she's a nice friend to have.

during lunch. my sister's teacher called me. told me she's suspected of developing chicken pox. that's like so out of the blue. she was still alright this morning. no rashes or anything. so interesting. and so i got my dad to fetch her to see a doctor coz i was still having lessons. interestingly she did get chicken pox. now my one week break would be spent staying at home taking care of her.

after lessons. basketball. only played like 45 mins before it started pouring. cats and dogs. but that 45 mins was satisfying enough. my shooting percentage was like 90%. haha. and i got like so many baskets in from long range. i shot one 3 pointer and it went it. that's 100% for 3 pointer. haha. anyway nice to regain my superb shooting form after being dormant for so long. 45 mins of exercise today. good enough. i'm conserving energy for 3 hours of squash tomorrow.

anyway it's mid sem break now. will make it a point to blog again in the near future. maybe tomorrow. haha. oh newcastle finally won! yay!

i actually saw a gay attending the same lecture as me. in faculty of arts and social science. it was a lecture on contemporary southeast asian studies. this guy. looked like a malay. dunno if he's one. wore a sleeveless furry light blue jacket covering a singlet. needless to say the "sleevelessness" exposed his well toned biceps and triceps. the way he posed in front of the lecturer. was with some kinda flirtatious feminine grace. my eyes literally popped out. goosebumps. i can never stand the sight of such gay looking people with such behaviour.

qubee showed me how to play dota all stars. quite a cool game i must say. he's very pro at such games. pity i don't have the time to explore and master it now. probably will have to wait till holiday periods.

had lecture till 8pm. what a long day. and there's lab practical tmr morning. i deserve some much needed rest. shall not sleep late today.

morning call at 7am on a saturday morning. what a day to wake up early. everyone else must be still sleeping. because yesterday was hari raya and today was a saturday. and i was proven right. the streets were like so empty at 8am. reached sun tec way before 9am.

magic pre-release tournament. that was probably my 4th pre-release if i remembered correctly. legions. mirrodin. fifth dawn. betrayers. yeah got it right. amazed that a light breakfast lasted me throughout the non-stop 6 hours. maybe it's because when you are too engrossed in doing something you'll forget about hunger. well. easily got straight into the competition mood. won 2 rounds. lost 2 rounds. so it's even. not a bad achievement. could have been better if i had a couple of good rares. oh! and there was a female player among hundreds of guys. how on earth would a girl love card games? it's bewildering.

anyway. the term had started. hope taking 6 modules won't kill me. my time table is so packed. like those cartons of packet drinks. i think that's the best analogy i can find. well. plus. tuition. squash. no time for anything else. occasionally try to squeeze some time for mahjong and basketball. i must endure! there's still chinese new year holidays. haha. but again. after that i have to finish 3 projects. maybe i should already be glad. that there's chinese new year for me to enjoy. or maybe not. if my grandfather happen to pass away. *touch wood*

i know i shouldn't expect too much. it doesn't make sense not to expect. this quote had been on my mind for too long. *hope for the best. prepare for the worst.* i wonder if the person who came up with this had an optimistic or pessimistic point of view. it could be both. but the actions that follow are different. hope. prepare. the former - in your dreams. the latter - you better do something about it. is it supposed to be a paradox?



*something i retrieved from my previous blog..*

"In the course of living, many people are disappointed when others do not live up (or down) to their expectations. In order to be happy, some expectations must be dropped. These unrealistic and unhealthy expectations are three of the main culprits."

1. Do not EXPECT appreciation. When others say, "Thank you," or in any way show their gratitude, be happy. It is a gift!

2. Do not EXPECT others to make you happy. They simply cannot do that. Make yourself happy and share your joy with others.

3. Do not expect NOT to be let down. At times, people will simply not come through for you in the way you need. Forgive them and move on. Get rid of these three expectations and you will be getting rid of daily disappointment!

I wonder who thought of this. So smart. Why can't people live a life of virtually no expectation? Why do people have expectation? Why do "bo-chup" people still exist in this world? To give and not expect is like repaying something which you owe.. sounds as if i owe the whole world something..

realised how sharp a shooter i can be today. again thanks to my buddy. our tag team is still as strong. there's always a belief that we could win. again accuracy wins the day. haha. reminds me of the good old days when we used to challenge the 1.95 ang-moh.

anyway these few days have been really enjoyable. in the company of my close friends and best friends. what more can i ask for. we have to treasure our time together. i'm already so busy with tuition and squash. lucky that i'm still single. otherwise i may not have the time to rekindle our memories. haha.

i haven't enjoyed playing basketball for very long. my buddy just came back from the US and we played basketball. "shiok". the complimentary feeling is like forever there even after months of untouching. haha. how i wished this could happen more often. i have to wait till next summer. he's flying back soon.

larry made me ponder. why should i open myself to other girls? why not try dating other girls? maybe i shouldn't have liked ******* in the first place. but what's wrong with liking someone? i knew it's impossible between us now and in the near future. i once said i would wait on her. my friends said i would be a fool to do that. what if she turned her back on you eventually? i would have waited for... nothing.

what jason said made some sense. first - put her on holding list. secondly - not to miss out on other eligible girls. well. that's cruel. but i don't think like him. i'll feel guilty if my heart were to be in two different places. i just can't bring myself to like another girl when another is still in my heart. but if i ever got over the first one i would never turn back. let alone put her on holding list. so should i give her up? can i forget her? what should i do?

found some nice meaningful quotes from my buddy's blog.

giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back. don't expect love in return. just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn't. be content it grew in yours. it takes only a minute to get a crush on someone. an hour to like someone. and a day to love someone. but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. don't go for looks. they can deceive. don't go for wealth. even that fades away. go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. find the one that makes your heart smile.

find the one that makes your heart smile. i like that one. yeah.

biodiversity. OPEN BOOK EXAM. it wasn't exactly a new thing to me. i had a similiar experience back in secondary sch. it was a geog test. everyone flunked coz there was no time to check for the answers and copy them down word for word. the trick to OPEN BOOK EXAM is the answers can never be found in references directly. as i had expected. "study like never study". luckily i remembered to put on my thinking cap. glad i'm quite smart. otherwise i would have handed in a blank answer script. 2 up, 3 more to go!

just finished my english paper. it was kinda a breeze. horribly wonderful chem prac. I got 1 A+, 1 C+ and 1 A-. The one i got C+ - i didn't get the compound right coz it got contaminated and i kinda copied that from someone else. realised my own works are more trustworthy. A+ & A-. i will treasure and do my own work from now. NEVER COPY WHOLESALE. if want to copy also must copy smart.

someone said i'm a paedophile.. but i don't mind.. when you think of true love it has no limitations..
they say she's an extrovert - to me she's both an extrovert and introvert.
i said she's got alot of good points - they say love is blind
i can see all her good and bad points.. they have nothing more to say
it's not about compromising..
how did she exactly gave me the right feeling.. as in fit into my criteria
when my expectations are so high.. god knows..
"Jillian.. i said i came close to finding it" but i didn't complete the sentence.."now i've found it in you.."
my heart was mended from a million smithereens.. someone gave my heart hope to be able to love unconditionally again..
you are a kind hearted, understanding and appreciative gal.. it's undeniable though it's not written all over your face.. it can be felt with the heart and truly seen with the eyes..

seriously u wait till she's sec4 i promise u total transformation n might haf some characteristics of a bitch coz most mgs girls are lidat

i'll bet her to prove u wrong.. only her... she's one of a kind.. my judgement of any gal i'm interested in hasn't failed me yet

like whether u are a fiercely loyal person
faithful partner
or someone who's easily ruled by jealousy
are appreciative of things that cannot be bought with money
appreciative of thoughts
will u treasure things that are dear to you for life

whether you are romantic yet practical down to earth not bitchy not any percent bitchy whether u are caring and care about pple n things generally

meticulous perfectionist organised dun like being affected by other gan jiong pple loyal friend if i decide to be serious i'll put my best in it

true love does not mean possession or jealousy. it's generosity.
i keep reminding myself of this sentence to keep myself from overindulgence of doses of happiness can u believe it

i've got such a vulnerable heart
it keeps me guessing what is love and if it's already around sometimes u cannot see but u can only feel

when there's true love there can never be hatred
haha~ but it's only a thin line b/w love and hatred, b/w happiness and disappointment

yesterday was kinda e last session coz her exams gonna be over
on my way home i juz msged her soemthing like
i love her company n she made me happy
then i added in a teaser "too bad u dun like me and "i will miss you"
wad do u understand?
i kept her guessing n she kept me guessing
i'll find out soon.. if love's in the air
if absence makes the heart grow fonder
haha~ it'll make yr heart sick... den if she doesn't haf any response den u die liao.
i have this feeling i'm accidentally in love
i can't possibly ask her right in the face if she feels this way rite
though it's being frank n straightforward it'll scare pple and usu you'll get a negative answer
i'll like tell her secretly sneak a note or something lah if she really like me or love my company keep it to herself dun tell me i dun want to know now
when u really think it's love then it's worth it to tell me..
sneaky not a nice word to use but that's love it's always round the corner rite you can't see it though it's close by until u turn ur direction
ya... a bit hard... haha~ scarly u get forgotten how?
if i can get forgotten easily then i'm in trouble
so i should write a note
haha~ young gals do forget things easily if they dun see them often... haha~ or forget the feeling
saying "i wonder if you miss me"
haha~ telling her don't forget me?
tell her no use one coz tell like never tell
she can forget her formula
sure got chance to forget me
this one different... it's more real life... u dun forget a real life thing easily
unless she really treasure
that's what i'm lookin for
she's quite cool n cynical on the outside
but she's sensitive n romantic inside
she's quite self protective like me sometimes
but i can give alot in a relationship
such tt i can't protect myself from being hurt
one thing unqiue abt her is her laughter
it's the best medicine for my soulbreathes life into my soul
rejuvenates my spirit
ppl thinks she's carzy but i think she's merry
she's not overly crazy she's so enthusiastic n got such innate ability to heal herself by laughing
haha~ suitably lively and bubbly that's what i feel i truly lack in life
few pple can give me that she already stepped in and on my heart left such a deep impression
one and only kind of bubbly that doesn't piss me
haha~ u muz be careful man!!! gotta protect urself b4 u fall into it!!! muz wear life savers
haha.. how to? this time it's different
i found a treasure that's so abstract
so hard to describe the joy
i won't know if it's mine
but by discovering it i already made a name for myself
haha~ ya... plant your flag there and declare it yours!!!
haha.. she's a human not a non living thing
set her free and if she chooses u she'll be urs
haha~ ya... den she'll be truly yours!

whenever i think of you.. i realised i often think of you. and think too much of you. why can't you just disappear from my life? i'm so easily distracted. maybe attracted is a better word. i figured why. it's probably the way you take things so easily. the carefree nature of your soul captured my heart. now there's an internal struggle within me. it's difficult to let go. when i need to free you from my mind.

*swensens treat*

the album is here:
http://www.imagestation.com/album/?id=4286319015

*mind blowing*

gave Patrick tuition. then Gen tuition. coached Lynda squash. met LJ for basketball. my Sunday's quite routined.

watched France vs England at Esther's house. France won 2-1. Zidane scored 2 goals in the last 2 minutes. freaky. England fans were gutted. utterly shocked. yeah. shock is the word. it's so cruel. hope they learn their lesson and bounce back.

*resurrecting blog*

Larry called. he's got fever. I've got flu. so no tuition. seem like some kinda bug is passing around. be careful people. today is the 3rd day of personal quarantine. felt like going out. so met LJ and BL for supper.

*updating in progress*

gave Gen tuition. Larry went out to watch Harry Potter. so no tuition for him. my throat's much better today. had been having fish porridge since yesterday. stayed home to recuperate. time passes so slowly.

*words of wisdom*

that untimely blow yesterday. suffering today. woke up with a bad throat. sore and painful. the mirror didn't reflect anything on the outside. internal injury. that must be. couldn't talk the whole day.

couldn't even say "hu" when playing MJ. when the 3 MJ kings came. i lost money in pain. (they coincidentally rhyme). my throat and heart both pained. my money is hard earned. the amount lost might seem little to others - but it's too huge a loss to me. 4 days of lunch and dinner. that's how much i simply lost. the saying: "no loss, no gain" might be true. but it surely doesn't apply on gambling when another saying goes: "ten bets, nine losses". how naive am i. always hope i don't win or lose money. 'cause i merely wanted to provide some entertainment for friends at no cost. but they wanted to gamble money and dragged me into it. i succumbed to peer pressure.

the excuses they churned for me were all sorts. - you ORD already, got so much time, where got no time to play mahjong? - don't complain, i lost even more money to others before, compared to you now. - once a while play no harm right, anyway the stakes are so small how much can you lose? - if you lose, it's equivalent to spending on two movies, just treat it as entertainment fee for your friends. i was tempted several times. each time i delayed my decision.

didn't exactly buy their reasons. knew they were wrong. but i didn't have the heart to turn down entertaining my friends. i gave in. they could afford to lose small. they had lost bigger before. i had everything to lose. 'cause i couldn't afford to lose. i am poor. MJ is a rich man's game. but it can also make a rich man poor overnight. till now did i realise i had sunk a little too deep into sh*t. i finally lost. but "no pain, no gain". i recovered my conscience. rediscovered the truth. at a small expense. i shall never gamble again.