hello! i'm finally blogging again. there might really be a blue moon tonight for all you know. haha. anyway. in May i've had no motivation to blog. come June when my best friend came back from US i was so busy keeping myself busy. all the way till July. which is now. tuition. squash coaching. swimming. singing. buffet. occasional mahjong. there's gotta be more to life man!
realised i had a hangover after exams in May. i couldn't get used to not going to school. i couldn't believe the stress of taking 6 modules was finally over. i couldn't find a proper job. everyday was just plain boring. painful to pass. until the day i saw Danitza. 23rd of May. Vesak Day. what a day 2 months ago. i'm not kidding but that day was kinda a turning point for me. from then on things that happened have been meaningful as well as wonderful. i realised i just had to keep doing meaningful things to keep myself busy so that i won't lament about wasting my precious time doing nothing. and i did it.
i learnt alot of things this hols. it's my first university summer break for 3 months. i kinda wasted the 1st month which is pathetic. losing money while playing mahjong. not working and eating v. little to save money. playing basketball and injuring myself. luckily the 2nd month and 3rd month was spent on more constructive stuff. tuition. squash coaching. those rendered some timely income. great to keep in touch with squash again though. supported Jillian through her tournaments. it was nice seeing her grow in maturity of her game. my best friend came back from US. that was another joyous thing. best company i can have. table-tennis. basketball. singing. swimming. buffet. watching soccer. sleeping over. best activity partners you can say. my life's been like going up up and up. haha. like a balloon filled with helium gas floating from the earth to space. i shall be happy even though school's starting soon. Joy to all pple!
Monday, February 28, 2005
it's been 10 days since i last blogged. how's my life? well. i'll likened it to newcastle's winning streak of 4 games in 10 days. enjoyable. that's the word. i can foresee the busy me in the next 2 months. tons of reports and research papers due. CAs. exams. squash competitions. all these are personal challenges. i'm recharged and rejuvenated. ready for the stressful days ahead. hope for the best. and prepare for the worst. i'm doing the latter now. NO FEAR! holidays will come. haha.
so turned out i had to skip an afternoon lecture. just for the sake of going to town with Qubee not for anything else but to visit the Asian Civilization Museum to churn out a report by Friday. on a plus note. the exhibits were rare and unique. basically an eye-opener. but history can be dull. especially when you try to speculate certain trends of convergence and divergence. there's no actual answer. you can only guess. what's the point of guessing without knowing the answer? ask the historians.
chanced upon a funny topic. Tian Cai you should read this.
i brought my sister for a haircut recently. there was no more QB House. the name changed to EC House. i was wondering how come they changed the name to EC House. and i found out "EC" meant "Express Cut". so i'm fine with that. then what did QB stand for previously? and does it mean QB doesn't own it anymore? i was on the bus asking Qubee and he said. the initials are still the same person. and i was laughing away.
so turned out i had to skip an afternoon lecture. just for the sake of going to town with Qubee not for anything else but to visit the Asian Civilization Museum to churn out a report by Friday. on a plus note. the exhibits were rare and unique. basically an eye-opener. but history can be dull. especially when you try to speculate certain trends of convergence and divergence. there's no actual answer. you can only guess. what's the point of guessing without knowing the answer? ask the historians.
chanced upon a funny topic. Tian Cai you should read this.
i brought my sister for a haircut recently. there was no more QB House. the name changed to EC House. i was wondering how come they changed the name to EC House. and i found out "EC" meant "Express Cut". so i'm fine with that. then what did QB stand for previously? and does it mean QB doesn't own it anymore? i was on the bus asking Qubee and he said. the initials are still the same person. and i was laughing away.
Friday, February 18, 2005
finally blogging again. this is really an accomplishment. haha. to find time to blog. today was an exceptionally good day. was so punctual for lab practical. and today's practical was so fun. everyone was having fun anyway.
after lab. had lunch with my lab partner. one of my friend described her as gentle and feminine. haha. hinting me to chase her ahh. well i've got someone else in mind now. so i won't two-time. just following my principle. but she's a nice friend to have.
during lunch. my sister's teacher called me. told me she's suspected of developing chicken pox. that's like so out of the blue. she was still alright this morning. no rashes or anything. so interesting. and so i got my dad to fetch her to see a doctor coz i was still having lessons. interestingly she did get chicken pox. now my one week break would be spent staying at home taking care of her.
after lessons. basketball. only played like 45 mins before it started pouring. cats and dogs. but that 45 mins was satisfying enough. my shooting percentage was like 90%. haha. and i got like so many baskets in from long range. i shot one 3 pointer and it went it. that's 100% for 3 pointer. haha. anyway nice to regain my superb shooting form after being dormant for so long. 45 mins of exercise today. good enough. i'm conserving energy for 3 hours of squash tomorrow.
anyway it's mid sem break now. will make it a point to blog again in the near future. maybe tomorrow. haha. oh newcastle finally won! yay!
after lab. had lunch with my lab partner. one of my friend described her as gentle and feminine. haha. hinting me to chase her ahh. well i've got someone else in mind now. so i won't two-time. just following my principle. but she's a nice friend to have.
during lunch. my sister's teacher called me. told me she's suspected of developing chicken pox. that's like so out of the blue. she was still alright this morning. no rashes or anything. so interesting. and so i got my dad to fetch her to see a doctor coz i was still having lessons. interestingly she did get chicken pox. now my one week break would be spent staying at home taking care of her.
after lessons. basketball. only played like 45 mins before it started pouring. cats and dogs. but that 45 mins was satisfying enough. my shooting percentage was like 90%. haha. and i got like so many baskets in from long range. i shot one 3 pointer and it went it. that's 100% for 3 pointer. haha. anyway nice to regain my superb shooting form after being dormant for so long. 45 mins of exercise today. good enough. i'm conserving energy for 3 hours of squash tomorrow.
anyway it's mid sem break now. will make it a point to blog again in the near future. maybe tomorrow. haha. oh newcastle finally won! yay!
Monday, January 24, 2005
i actually saw a gay attending the same lecture as me. in faculty of arts and social science. it was a lecture on contemporary southeast asian studies. this guy. looked like a malay. dunno if he's one. wore a sleeveless furry light blue jacket covering a singlet. needless to say the "sleevelessness" exposed his well toned biceps and triceps. the way he posed in front of the lecturer. was with some kinda flirtatious feminine grace. my eyes literally popped out. goosebumps. i can never stand the sight of such gay looking people with such behaviour.
qubee showed me how to play dota all stars. quite a cool game i must say. he's very pro at such games. pity i don't have the time to explore and master it now. probably will have to wait till holiday periods.
had lecture till 8pm. what a long day. and there's lab practical tmr morning. i deserve some much needed rest. shall not sleep late today.
qubee showed me how to play dota all stars. quite a cool game i must say. he's very pro at such games. pity i don't have the time to explore and master it now. probably will have to wait till holiday periods.
had lecture till 8pm. what a long day. and there's lab practical tmr morning. i deserve some much needed rest. shall not sleep late today.
Saturday, January 22, 2005
morning call at 7am on a saturday morning. what a day to wake up early. everyone else must be still sleeping. because yesterday was hari raya and today was a saturday. and i was proven right. the streets were like so empty at 8am. reached sun tec way before 9am.
magic pre-release tournament. that was probably my 4th pre-release if i remembered correctly. legions. mirrodin. fifth dawn. betrayers. yeah got it right. amazed that a light breakfast lasted me throughout the non-stop 6 hours. maybe it's because when you are too engrossed in doing something you'll forget about hunger. well. easily got straight into the competition mood. won 2 rounds. lost 2 rounds. so it's even. not a bad achievement. could have been better if i had a couple of good rares. oh! and there was a female player among hundreds of guys. how on earth would a girl love card games? it's bewildering.
anyway. the term had started. hope taking 6 modules won't kill me. my time table is so packed. like those cartons of packet drinks. i think that's the best analogy i can find. well. plus. tuition. squash. no time for anything else. occasionally try to squeeze some time for mahjong and basketball. i must endure! there's still chinese new year holidays. haha. but again. after that i have to finish 3 projects. maybe i should already be glad. that there's chinese new year for me to enjoy. or maybe not. if my grandfather happen to pass away. *touch wood*
i know i shouldn't expect too much. it doesn't make sense not to expect. this quote had been on my mind for too long. *hope for the best. prepare for the worst.* i wonder if the person who came up with this had an optimistic or pessimistic point of view. it could be both. but the actions that follow are different. hope. prepare. the former - in your dreams. the latter - you better do something about it. is it supposed to be a paradox?
*something i retrieved from my previous blog..*
"In the course of living, many people are disappointed when others do not live up (or down) to their expectations. In order to be happy, some expectations must be dropped. These unrealistic and unhealthy expectations are three of the main culprits."
1. Do not EXPECT appreciation. When others say, "Thank you," or in any way show their gratitude, be happy. It is a gift!
2. Do not EXPECT others to make you happy. They simply cannot do that. Make yourself happy and share your joy with others.
3. Do not expect NOT to be let down. At times, people will simply not come through for you in the way you need. Forgive them and move on. Get rid of these three expectations and you will be getting rid of daily disappointment!
I wonder who thought of this. So smart. Why can't people live a life of virtually no expectation? Why do people have expectation? Why do "bo-chup" people still exist in this world? To give and not expect is like repaying something which you owe.. sounds as if i owe the whole world something..
magic pre-release tournament. that was probably my 4th pre-release if i remembered correctly. legions. mirrodin. fifth dawn. betrayers. yeah got it right. amazed that a light breakfast lasted me throughout the non-stop 6 hours. maybe it's because when you are too engrossed in doing something you'll forget about hunger. well. easily got straight into the competition mood. won 2 rounds. lost 2 rounds. so it's even. not a bad achievement. could have been better if i had a couple of good rares. oh! and there was a female player among hundreds of guys. how on earth would a girl love card games? it's bewildering.
anyway. the term had started. hope taking 6 modules won't kill me. my time table is so packed. like those cartons of packet drinks. i think that's the best analogy i can find. well. plus. tuition. squash. no time for anything else. occasionally try to squeeze some time for mahjong and basketball. i must endure! there's still chinese new year holidays. haha. but again. after that i have to finish 3 projects. maybe i should already be glad. that there's chinese new year for me to enjoy. or maybe not. if my grandfather happen to pass away. *touch wood*
i know i shouldn't expect too much. it doesn't make sense not to expect. this quote had been on my mind for too long. *hope for the best. prepare for the worst.* i wonder if the person who came up with this had an optimistic or pessimistic point of view. it could be both. but the actions that follow are different. hope. prepare. the former - in your dreams. the latter - you better do something about it. is it supposed to be a paradox?
*something i retrieved from my previous blog..*
"In the course of living, many people are disappointed when others do not live up (or down) to their expectations. In order to be happy, some expectations must be dropped. These unrealistic and unhealthy expectations are three of the main culprits."
1. Do not EXPECT appreciation. When others say, "Thank you," or in any way show their gratitude, be happy. It is a gift!
2. Do not EXPECT others to make you happy. They simply cannot do that. Make yourself happy and share your joy with others.
3. Do not expect NOT to be let down. At times, people will simply not come through for you in the way you need. Forgive them and move on. Get rid of these three expectations and you will be getting rid of daily disappointment!
I wonder who thought of this. So smart. Why can't people live a life of virtually no expectation? Why do people have expectation? Why do "bo-chup" people still exist in this world? To give and not expect is like repaying something which you owe.. sounds as if i owe the whole world something..
Monday, January 03, 2005
realised how sharp a shooter i can be today. again thanks to my buddy. our tag team is still as strong. there's always a belief that we could win. again accuracy wins the day. haha. reminds me of the good old days when we used to challenge the 1.95 ang-moh.
anyway these few days have been really enjoyable. in the company of my close friends and best friends. what more can i ask for. we have to treasure our time together. i'm already so busy with tuition and squash. lucky that i'm still single. otherwise i may not have the time to rekindle our memories. haha.
anyway these few days have been really enjoyable. in the company of my close friends and best friends. what more can i ask for. we have to treasure our time together. i'm already so busy with tuition and squash. lucky that i'm still single. otherwise i may not have the time to rekindle our memories. haha.
Thursday, December 30, 2004
i haven't enjoyed playing basketball for very long. my buddy just came back from the US and we played basketball. "shiok". the complimentary feeling is like forever there even after months of untouching. haha. how i wished this could happen more often. i have to wait till next summer. he's flying back soon.
larry made me ponder. why should i open myself to other girls? why not try dating other girls? maybe i shouldn't have liked ******* in the first place. but what's wrong with liking someone? i knew it's impossible between us now and in the near future. i once said i would wait on her. my friends said i would be a fool to do that. what if she turned her back on you eventually? i would have waited for... nothing.
what jason said made some sense. first - put her on holding list. secondly - not to miss out on other eligible girls. well. that's cruel. but i don't think like him. i'll feel guilty if my heart were to be in two different places. i just can't bring myself to like another girl when another is still in my heart. but if i ever got over the first one i would never turn back. let alone put her on holding list. so should i give her up? can i forget her? what should i do?
found some nice meaningful quotes from my buddy's blog.
giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back. don't expect love in return. just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn't. be content it grew in yours. it takes only a minute to get a crush on someone. an hour to like someone. and a day to love someone. but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. don't go for looks. they can deceive. don't go for wealth. even that fades away. go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. find the one that makes your heart smile.
find the one that makes your heart smile. i like that one. yeah.
larry made me ponder. why should i open myself to other girls? why not try dating other girls? maybe i shouldn't have liked ******* in the first place. but what's wrong with liking someone? i knew it's impossible between us now and in the near future. i once said i would wait on her. my friends said i would be a fool to do that. what if she turned her back on you eventually? i would have waited for... nothing.
what jason said made some sense. first - put her on holding list. secondly - not to miss out on other eligible girls. well. that's cruel. but i don't think like him. i'll feel guilty if my heart were to be in two different places. i just can't bring myself to like another girl when another is still in my heart. but if i ever got over the first one i would never turn back. let alone put her on holding list. so should i give her up? can i forget her? what should i do?
found some nice meaningful quotes from my buddy's blog.
giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back. don't expect love in return. just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn't. be content it grew in yours. it takes only a minute to get a crush on someone. an hour to like someone. and a day to love someone. but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. don't go for looks. they can deceive. don't go for wealth. even that fades away. go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. find the one that makes your heart smile.
find the one that makes your heart smile. i like that one. yeah.
Monday, November 22, 2004
biodiversity. OPEN BOOK EXAM. it wasn't exactly a new thing to me. i had a similiar experience back in secondary sch. it was a geog test. everyone flunked coz there was no time to check for the answers and copy them down word for word. the trick to OPEN BOOK EXAM is the answers can never be found in references directly. as i had expected. "study like never study". luckily i remembered to put on my thinking cap. glad i'm quite smart. otherwise i would have handed in a blank answer script. 2 up, 3 more to go!
Thursday, November 18, 2004
just finished my english paper. it was kinda a breeze. horribly wonderful chem prac. I got 1 A+, 1 C+ and 1 A-. The one i got C+ - i didn't get the compound right coz it got contaminated and i kinda copied that from someone else. realised my own works are more trustworthy. A+ & A-. i will treasure and do my own work from now. NEVER COPY WHOLESALE. if want to copy also must copy smart.
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
someone said i'm a paedophile.. but i don't mind.. when you think of true love it has no limitations..
they say she's an extrovert - to me she's both an extrovert and introvert.
i said she's got alot of good points - they say love is blind
i can see all her good and bad points.. they have nothing more to say
it's not about compromising..
how did she exactly gave me the right feeling.. as in fit into my criteria
when my expectations are so high.. god knows..
"Jillian.. i said i came close to finding it" but i didn't complete the sentence.."now i've found it in you.."
my heart was mended from a million smithereens.. someone gave my heart hope to be able to love unconditionally again..
you are a kind hearted, understanding and appreciative gal.. it's undeniable though it's not written all over your face.. it can be felt with the heart and truly seen with the eyes..
seriously u wait till she's sec4 i promise u total transformation n might haf some characteristics of a bitch coz most mgs girls are lidat
i'll bet her to prove u wrong.. only her... she's one of a kind.. my judgement of any gal i'm interested in hasn't failed me yet
like whether u are a fiercely loyal person
faithful partner
or someone who's easily ruled by jealousy
are appreciative of things that cannot be bought with money
appreciative of thoughts
will u treasure things that are dear to you for life
whether you are romantic yet practical down to earth not bitchy not any percent bitchy whether u are caring and care about pple n things generally
meticulous perfectionist organised dun like being affected by other gan jiong pple loyal friend if i decide to be serious i'll put my best in it
true love does not mean possession or jealousy. it's generosity.
i keep reminding myself of this sentence to keep myself from overindulgence of doses of happiness can u believe it
i've got such a vulnerable heart
it keeps me guessing what is love and if it's already around sometimes u cannot see but u can only feel
when there's true love there can never be hatred
haha~ but it's only a thin line b/w love and hatred, b/w happiness and disappointment
yesterday was kinda e last session coz her exams gonna be over
on my way home i juz msged her soemthing like
i love her company n she made me happy
then i added in a teaser "too bad u dun like me and "i will miss you"
wad do u understand?
i kept her guessing n she kept me guessing
i'll find out soon.. if love's in the air
if absence makes the heart grow fonder
haha~ it'll make yr heart sick... den if she doesn't haf any response den u die liao.
i have this feeling i'm accidentally in love
i can't possibly ask her right in the face if she feels this way rite
though it's being frank n straightforward it'll scare pple and usu you'll get a negative answer
i'll like tell her secretly sneak a note or something lah if she really like me or love my company keep it to herself dun tell me i dun want to know now
when u really think it's love then it's worth it to tell me..
sneaky not a nice word to use but that's love it's always round the corner rite you can't see it though it's close by until u turn ur direction
ya... a bit hard... haha~ scarly u get forgotten how?
if i can get forgotten easily then i'm in trouble
so i should write a note
haha~ young gals do forget things easily if they dun see them often... haha~ or forget the feeling
saying "i wonder if you miss me"
haha~ telling her don't forget me?
tell her no use one coz tell like never tell
she can forget her formula
sure got chance to forget me
this one different... it's more real life... u dun forget a real life thing easily
unless she really treasure
that's what i'm lookin for
she's quite cool n cynical on the outside
but she's sensitive n romantic inside
she's quite self protective like me sometimes
but i can give alot in a relationship
such tt i can't protect myself from being hurt
one thing unqiue abt her is her laughter
it's the best medicine for my soulbreathes life into my soul
rejuvenates my spirit
ppl thinks she's carzy but i think she's merry
she's not overly crazy she's so enthusiastic n got such innate ability to heal herself by laughing
haha~ suitably lively and bubbly that's what i feel i truly lack in life
few pple can give me that she already stepped in and on my heart left such a deep impression
one and only kind of bubbly that doesn't piss me
haha~ u muz be careful man!!! gotta protect urself b4 u fall into it!!! muz wear life savers
haha.. how to? this time it's different
i found a treasure that's so abstract
so hard to describe the joy
i won't know if it's mine
but by discovering it i already made a name for myself
haha~ ya... plant your flag there and declare it yours!!!
haha.. she's a human not a non living thing
set her free and if she chooses u she'll be urs
haha~ ya... den she'll be truly yours!
they say she's an extrovert - to me she's both an extrovert and introvert.
i said she's got alot of good points - they say love is blind
i can see all her good and bad points.. they have nothing more to say
it's not about compromising..
how did she exactly gave me the right feeling.. as in fit into my criteria
when my expectations are so high.. god knows..
"Jillian.. i said i came close to finding it" but i didn't complete the sentence.."now i've found it in you.."
my heart was mended from a million smithereens.. someone gave my heart hope to be able to love unconditionally again..
you are a kind hearted, understanding and appreciative gal.. it's undeniable though it's not written all over your face.. it can be felt with the heart and truly seen with the eyes..
seriously u wait till she's sec4 i promise u total transformation n might haf some characteristics of a bitch coz most mgs girls are lidat
i'll bet her to prove u wrong.. only her... she's one of a kind.. my judgement of any gal i'm interested in hasn't failed me yet
like whether u are a fiercely loyal person
faithful partner
or someone who's easily ruled by jealousy
are appreciative of things that cannot be bought with money
appreciative of thoughts
will u treasure things that are dear to you for life
whether you are romantic yet practical down to earth not bitchy not any percent bitchy whether u are caring and care about pple n things generally
meticulous perfectionist organised dun like being affected by other gan jiong pple loyal friend if i decide to be serious i'll put my best in it
true love does not mean possession or jealousy. it's generosity.
i keep reminding myself of this sentence to keep myself from overindulgence of doses of happiness can u believe it
i've got such a vulnerable heart
it keeps me guessing what is love and if it's already around sometimes u cannot see but u can only feel
when there's true love there can never be hatred
haha~ but it's only a thin line b/w love and hatred, b/w happiness and disappointment
yesterday was kinda e last session coz her exams gonna be over
on my way home i juz msged her soemthing like
i love her company n she made me happy
then i added in a teaser "too bad u dun like me and "i will miss you"
wad do u understand?
i kept her guessing n she kept me guessing
i'll find out soon.. if love's in the air
if absence makes the heart grow fonder
haha~ it'll make yr heart sick... den if she doesn't haf any response den u die liao.
i have this feeling i'm accidentally in love
i can't possibly ask her right in the face if she feels this way rite
though it's being frank n straightforward it'll scare pple and usu you'll get a negative answer
i'll like tell her secretly sneak a note or something lah if she really like me or love my company keep it to herself dun tell me i dun want to know now
when u really think it's love then it's worth it to tell me..
sneaky not a nice word to use but that's love it's always round the corner rite you can't see it though it's close by until u turn ur direction
ya... a bit hard... haha~ scarly u get forgotten how?
if i can get forgotten easily then i'm in trouble
so i should write a note
haha~ young gals do forget things easily if they dun see them often... haha~ or forget the feeling
saying "i wonder if you miss me"
haha~ telling her don't forget me?
tell her no use one coz tell like never tell
she can forget her formula
sure got chance to forget me
this one different... it's more real life... u dun forget a real life thing easily
unless she really treasure
that's what i'm lookin for
she's quite cool n cynical on the outside
but she's sensitive n romantic inside
she's quite self protective like me sometimes
but i can give alot in a relationship
such tt i can't protect myself from being hurt
one thing unqiue abt her is her laughter
it's the best medicine for my soulbreathes life into my soul
rejuvenates my spirit
ppl thinks she's carzy but i think she's merry
she's not overly crazy she's so enthusiastic n got such innate ability to heal herself by laughing
haha~ suitably lively and bubbly that's what i feel i truly lack in life
few pple can give me that she already stepped in and on my heart left such a deep impression
one and only kind of bubbly that doesn't piss me
haha~ u muz be careful man!!! gotta protect urself b4 u fall into it!!! muz wear life savers
haha.. how to? this time it's different
i found a treasure that's so abstract
so hard to describe the joy
i won't know if it's mine
but by discovering it i already made a name for myself
haha~ ya... plant your flag there and declare it yours!!!
haha.. she's a human not a non living thing
set her free and if she chooses u she'll be urs
haha~ ya... den she'll be truly yours!
Thursday, October 21, 2004
whenever i think of you.. i realised i often think of you. and think too much of you. why can't you just disappear from my life? i'm so easily distracted. maybe attracted is a better word. i figured why. it's probably the way you take things so easily. the carefree nature of your soul captured my heart. now there's an internal struggle within me. it's difficult to let go. when i need to free you from my mind.
Monday, July 05, 2004
Monday, June 14, 2004
*mind blowing*
gave Patrick tuition. then Gen tuition. coached Lynda squash. met LJ for basketball. my Sunday's quite routined.
watched France vs England at Esther's house. France won 2-1. Zidane scored 2 goals in the last 2 minutes. freaky. England fans were gutted. utterly shocked. yeah. shock is the word. it's so cruel. hope they learn their lesson and bounce back.
gave Patrick tuition. then Gen tuition. coached Lynda squash. met LJ for basketball. my Sunday's quite routined.
watched France vs England at Esther's house. France won 2-1. Zidane scored 2 goals in the last 2 minutes. freaky. England fans were gutted. utterly shocked. yeah. shock is the word. it's so cruel. hope they learn their lesson and bounce back.
Wednesday, June 09, 2004
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
Monday, June 07, 2004
*words of wisdom*
that untimely blow yesterday. suffering today. woke up with a bad throat. sore and painful. the mirror didn't reflect anything on the outside. internal injury. that must be. couldn't talk the whole day.
couldn't even say "hu" when playing MJ. when the 3 MJ kings came. i lost money in pain. (they coincidentally rhyme). my throat and heart both pained. my money is hard earned. the amount lost might seem little to others - but it's too huge a loss to me. 4 days of lunch and dinner. that's how much i simply lost. the saying: "no loss, no gain" might be true. but it surely doesn't apply on gambling when another saying goes: "ten bets, nine losses". how naive am i. always hope i don't win or lose money. 'cause i merely wanted to provide some entertainment for friends at no cost. but they wanted to gamble money and dragged me into it. i succumbed to peer pressure.
the excuses they churned for me were all sorts. - you ORD already, got so much time, where got no time to play mahjong? - don't complain, i lost even more money to others before, compared to you now. - once a while play no harm right, anyway the stakes are so small how much can you lose? - if you lose, it's equivalent to spending on two movies, just treat it as entertainment fee for your friends. i was tempted several times. each time i delayed my decision.
didn't exactly buy their reasons. knew they were wrong. but i didn't have the heart to turn down entertaining my friends. i gave in. they could afford to lose small. they had lost bigger before. i had everything to lose. 'cause i couldn't afford to lose. i am poor. MJ is a rich man's game. but it can also make a rich man poor overnight. till now did i realise i had sunk a little too deep into sh*t. i finally lost. but "no pain, no gain". i recovered my conscience. rediscovered the truth. at a small expense. i shall never gamble again.
that untimely blow yesterday. suffering today. woke up with a bad throat. sore and painful. the mirror didn't reflect anything on the outside. internal injury. that must be. couldn't talk the whole day.
couldn't even say "hu" when playing MJ. when the 3 MJ kings came. i lost money in pain. (they coincidentally rhyme). my throat and heart both pained. my money is hard earned. the amount lost might seem little to others - but it's too huge a loss to me. 4 days of lunch and dinner. that's how much i simply lost. the saying: "no loss, no gain" might be true. but it surely doesn't apply on gambling when another saying goes: "ten bets, nine losses". how naive am i. always hope i don't win or lose money. 'cause i merely wanted to provide some entertainment for friends at no cost. but they wanted to gamble money and dragged me into it. i succumbed to peer pressure.
the excuses they churned for me were all sorts. - you ORD already, got so much time, where got no time to play mahjong? - don't complain, i lost even more money to others before, compared to you now. - once a while play no harm right, anyway the stakes are so small how much can you lose? - if you lose, it's equivalent to spending on two movies, just treat it as entertainment fee for your friends. i was tempted several times. each time i delayed my decision.
didn't exactly buy their reasons. knew they were wrong. but i didn't have the heart to turn down entertaining my friends. i gave in. they could afford to lose small. they had lost bigger before. i had everything to lose. 'cause i couldn't afford to lose. i am poor. MJ is a rich man's game. but it can also make a rich man poor overnight. till now did i realise i had sunk a little too deep into sh*t. i finally lost. but "no pain, no gain". i recovered my conscience. rediscovered the truth. at a small expense. i shall never gamble again.
Sunday, June 06, 2004
*mind blowing*
gave Patrick tuition. coached Lynda squash. met LJ for basketball.
basketball. one of the worst sessions. the ball slammed straight into my face. 3 times. my specs flew out. 3 times. the 1st time my most presentable pair of metallic specs got so twisted. the twist - it's deemed irreversible. after that fatal 1st hit i had no choice but to substitute my metallic specs with my ACG - plastic specs. the plastic one suffered 2 severe blows but it never got outta shape.
highlight of the day. one shorty (shorter than me by nearly a head) tried to dribble past me. clumsily jumped and elbowed my throat while attempting the basket. this time LJ had to substitute me. yes. ME. nearly hammered my apple. will never play basketball with those ruffians again. my life is precious.
had dinner with LJ. supposed to drag Eddie for steamboat buffet at Turf City. but he adamantly refused to tag along. ended up eating Penang Kway Tiao and Prawn Mee at Killiney Kopitiam. lime juice was refreshing. his darling BL knocked off and met us for dessert (though we already finished it before she arrived).
reached home around 11.30pm. it was still my brother's birthday. not past midnight yet. had the last slice of chocolate cake. *yum* happy birthday.
gave Patrick tuition. coached Lynda squash. met LJ for basketball.
basketball. one of the worst sessions. the ball slammed straight into my face. 3 times. my specs flew out. 3 times. the 1st time my most presentable pair of metallic specs got so twisted. the twist - it's deemed irreversible. after that fatal 1st hit i had no choice but to substitute my metallic specs with my ACG - plastic specs. the plastic one suffered 2 severe blows but it never got outta shape.
highlight of the day. one shorty (shorter than me by nearly a head) tried to dribble past me. clumsily jumped and elbowed my throat while attempting the basket. this time LJ had to substitute me. yes. ME. nearly hammered my apple. will never play basketball with those ruffians again. my life is precious.
had dinner with LJ. supposed to drag Eddie for steamboat buffet at Turf City. but he adamantly refused to tag along. ended up eating Penang Kway Tiao and Prawn Mee at Killiney Kopitiam. lime juice was refreshing. his darling BL knocked off and met us for dessert (though we already finished it before she arrived).
reached home around 11.30pm. it was still my brother's birthday. not past midnight yet. had the last slice of chocolate cake. *yum* happy birthday.
Saturday, June 05, 2004
Friday, June 04, 2004
*blogging in progress*
gave Gen tuition. went shopping at CCK Lot1. bought some assessments for Larry. $80 on 2 branded shirts. $20 on 3 colourful Giordano tees. $100 bucks gone simply. tough luck. i'm crazy. something horrible happened. misplaced the books i bought for Larry. absent-mindedly left it unattended. $10 gone.
how absent-minded can i be? eg.: happily paid for 2 packets of chicken rice and went home. upon reaching home then i realised i didn't bring back the 2 packets.
that's quite bad rite? i know. will need to curb such frequent recurrence.
gave Gen tuition. went shopping at CCK Lot1. bought some assessments for Larry. $80 on 2 branded shirts. $20 on 3 colourful Giordano tees. $100 bucks gone simply. tough luck. i'm crazy. something horrible happened. misplaced the books i bought for Larry. absent-mindedly left it unattended. $10 gone.
how absent-minded can i be? eg.: happily paid for 2 packets of chicken rice and went home. upon reaching home then i realised i didn't bring back the 2 packets.
that's quite bad rite? i know. will need to curb such frequent recurrence.
Thursday, June 03, 2004
*scribblings loaded*
squashed in the evening. JCC's a nice place. quiet. serene. best place to cultivate the mind. felt different in the courts. met uncle Chris. had a game with him. can't believe i actually won. i'm finally convinced of my potential. shall strive hard to make sure i don't disappoint myself. I will be an A grader someday.
love showering at JCC. everything's provided. from towel to bathing accessories. even gel and comb. luxury. and warm water. i hate showering in the cold. probably that explains why i seldom swim. had supper with Shaun. he missed his favourite steak 'cause the stall had closed. ended up eating mixed vegs and rice. the servings were so huge and generous. totally appeased our hunger.
called Kim outta the blue. kinda remembered she should be back from France. to my surprise she really picked up the phone. it was already midnight. chatted for like ages. the student exchange wasn't exactly enriching. but at least she didn't suffer that much compared to YJ when she was in India last month. lol.
squashed in the evening. JCC's a nice place. quiet. serene. best place to cultivate the mind. felt different in the courts. met uncle Chris. had a game with him. can't believe i actually won. i'm finally convinced of my potential. shall strive hard to make sure i don't disappoint myself. I will be an A grader someday.
love showering at JCC. everything's provided. from towel to bathing accessories. even gel and comb. luxury. and warm water. i hate showering in the cold. probably that explains why i seldom swim. had supper with Shaun. he missed his favourite steak 'cause the stall had closed. ended up eating mixed vegs and rice. the servings were so huge and generous. totally appeased our hunger.
called Kim outta the blue. kinda remembered she should be back from France. to my surprise she really picked up the phone. it was already midnight. chatted for like ages. the student exchange wasn't exactly enriching. but at least she didn't suffer that much compared to YJ when she was in India last month. lol.